Author: J.L. Mac
Release Date: April 11, 2014
Genre: Contemporary Romance
More Info: Goodreads
Purchase: Amazon US
Purchase: Amazon UK
Purchase: Amazon CA
Purchase: Amazon AU
I used to have a great life. My little world was bright. I had no complaints. My perfectly simple life made the fall from grace that much more devastating. I plummeted from the heavenly little bubble that I shared with Jake. I fell fast and hard straight into the fiery pits of hell. The knowledge of how things used to be is a bittersweet torture that refuses me even one moment of respite. I live in a painful reverie that I can’t escape.
I had it good once.
That’s gone now.
All of it disappeared like vapor into the ether. I’m a lost woman, wandering through grief and struggling to come to terms with my new title: widow. My family says I need understanding and closure. I say a cigarette and a bottle of wine is a much better option for instant gratification.
I’m the awkward, depressed one standing in the corner making everyone around me miserably uncomfortable. I’m the one with vacant eyes that society strives to help but can’t. I’m the one who hands out tight smiles and derisive snorts. I’m the widow adrift in this world with no direction. No meaning. No hope. No vital sign.
Sadie sets out on a journey to healing without knowing that things will get far worse before they get better. Despite her general indifference to organ donation, she finds herself on a journey to seek out the only people who benefited from her husband’s tragic death.
Resentment runs rampant as she meets the thriving organ recipients. Anger and jealousy spiral, sending the delicate structure of Sadie’s emotions into a tailspin.
Alexander McBride got a second chance—one that he didn’t necessarily want. Alexander is a game changer for Sadie. She hates him for his health but can’t help feeling at home in his presence. He soothes her grief in a way that is intoxicating, addictive even.
The heart that once fell in love with her now resides in Alexander McBride’s chest. It’s a circumstance that forces her to wage an internal war fueled by grief, anger, guilt, love, lust, and loyalty.
Sadie must discover the things that are vital to going on with her life if she has any hope of finding her way through the all-consuming grief that dominates every waking moment.
Being a police officer came with its job hazards. Some were far worse than others. Some were the types that left my sweet husband restless and locked within the confines of his mind with the awful things that his line of work sometimes forced his eyes to see. I couldn’t help him un-see all the dreadfulness, but I did what I could.
I stood guard like only a woman knows how. I wasn’t brooding or territorial. I wasn’t pushy or incessant. No. I was tender and attentive. I watched and I waited. I held Jake to me when life leeched the spark from his eyes. I kissed his forehead when he needed a gentle touch to remind him that the world may have more bad than good, but I was his good. I’d always be his good. And when times came where no words nor actions were needed, I stood vigilant, my silent presence beside him a testament to what I vowed on our wedding day. It seemed to be all he needed. It seemed to soothe whatever worried him. It was all he wanted and keeping his head and heart safe was all I wanted. I kept that heart safe before, Zander’s heart, when it was Jake’s, and my reflexes haven’t changed. If anything, they’ve intensified.