Author: A.E. Woodward
Published by Self-Published
Release Date September 28, 2015
Genres: Abuse, Contemporary Romance
More Info: Goodreads
Purchase From: Amazon US
Purchase From: Amazon UK
Purchase From: Amazon CA
Purchase From: Amazon AU
My drug of choice was heroin.
Until they put me here against my will.
At the time it was my only viable choice.
I preferred stumbling through life numb to it all.
But now I’m here, and every sound and every emotion is heightened to a level I never knew existed.
Then somehow, in a moment of weakness it became all about him.
He makes me feel things I never thought possible.
I thought he was my antidote, but it turns out that he’s just my new drug of choice.
Author: A.E. Woodward
Genre: Comtemporary Romance w/ Dark Elements
Release Date: September 29, 2015
Among many others, one thing the author and I share is a love of the TV show Intervention. If you’ve ever seen the show, this story reads right out of their episodes with so much more! Coming from someone who has never personally done nor experienced drugs firsthand, she depicts a almost scary accuracy in what is portrayed. So much so that each time Tegan has a needle in her hand, you feel as if it’s your arm it’s being injected into. You can feel the tightening of the belt on your skin, you can feel the prick of the sharp edge, and you can feel the drugs rush through your bloodstream. You feel the filth she feels as her drug dealer makes her pay in his own way for what she needs to survive. And you feel the hopelessness and utter despair she feels in the in between times. You know she sees know way out and yet you keep yelling and fighting for her.
This book is interesting in that for me, the romance was on the back burner. I think when you encounter a story like this, that’s the way it needs to be. For it’s really about her self discovery and road to personal redemption. Alternating chapters, we are taken from the present to the past, but not from the beginning. With each chapter that passes, we are going further and further into the past. As with 99% of addicts, there is always a reason, a catalyst to why they are the way they are. As as each page turned, I longed to find out what Tegan’s was. It isn’t hard to figure out, but what was shocking was the backstory behind it. You may or may not see it coming; I know I didn’t. And when you do find out, wow, it just broke my heart, and I truly felt everything she was feeling in that moment. I raged with her, I felt hate with her, and I wanted to destroy anything in my path for her. I can’t say with certainty that I would have handled the situation in the end like she did, but we’ll just leave it at she showed way more restraint than I would have been able to. But it was her road to walk down, her forgiveness to give, and her growth that transpired.
If you watch a lot of TV or read like me, you know that one of the first rules in recovery is you aren’t supposed to be in a relationship for the first year. This is for many reasons, but the biggest is that you have to concentrate all your time and energy on fixing yourself. If you allow yourself to fall into a romantic relationship, your addiction can transfer to that, and you can become dependent once again. What makes this story taboo is that the relationship Tegan enters into is with her drug counselor, which again, is not only a no-no, but highly unethical. She knows it. He knows it. But like two trains headed the opposite direction down the same track, they can’t help but be drawn towards each other and collide. And while I fell in love with the idea of the two of them healing each other and helping each other, I just knew it wasn’t the right time. I felt the dread deep in my gut and I knew the outcome could and probably would be disastrous. Was it? Well, you will just have to find out for yourself.
But like I said in the beginning, for me, that wasn’t what this story was about. I have been following and reading this author for a few years now and I can honestly say that with each story she pens, she just keeps getting better and better. I don’t even need to read the synopsis; if I see a book with her name on it, it automatically gets bumped to the top of my TBR. She has a way of writing that makes you a character in her books, not just a bystander. You become a part of the story whether you want to or not and when the last page is turned you feel as if you have lost a little bit of yourself that you’ll never get back. And I mean that in the best possible of ways! I highly recommend you give this story and this author a shot. You won’t be disappointed!